oh so blue.

This week has been kind of a weird one. Many ups and downs for me. Emotionally mostly. Nothing horrible happened but I was just in a funk. Probably and most likely due to PMSing...but still. My sister and mom went down to LA this week and went to Disneyland. I was just in a bummed mood all week because I couldn't go. I hate how stupid jobs get in the way of that. Of something really fun and something really important (all relative). Is it more important for me to spend time with my family in the happiest place on earth or to bill patients their medical bills?
I 100% think that family, friends, new adventures, classes, etc are more important to your well being then a stinking job. I know that you can't do these things without working but when I can't go because I don't have any PTO left then I get bitter about it. I missed out on a Mother/Daughter week....all for sitting at a darn desk and staring at a computer screen. I don't feel like my job is important. I don't feel like I'm becoming a better person. I don't feel like I'm needed. *ook ok ok...yes, maybe a little exaggeration.
Yesterday, I was seriously fed up and couldn't get the thought of quitting out of my mind. I don't get paid enough. The only reason I'm able to go on trips is because I had a good savings built up and because I don't buy many "things". I realistically wont be quitting or changing careers anytime soon... we all know the economy is in the crapper.
Today, things went better. It was the little things. A friend asking if I wanted to get lunch. Enjoying being outside if not only for an hour. A surprise iced coffee when I got back. These are the kinds of things that get me through. Until I do something that I love. What is that you ask, I sure as hell don't know.

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